For those of you that haven’t enterd the realm of “Serenity” as yet, I have some words of wisdom for you to ponder. Even if you have reached the age of Serenity, you may still have some questions or are simply wondering about what is happening around you.
This is also for you.
These are tidbit stories reflective of the reality of our Golden Years. I’m not quite at Golden, but I know I’ve left “BRASS” way behind. None the less, I can certainly identify or report I have witnessed some of these stories unfold.
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied.
‘Two years older than me’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’
The nice thing about being senile is
You can hide your own Easter eggs.
I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts, have bouts with dementia,
have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92 and have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape.
So I got my doctor’s permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on,
The class was over.
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It’s scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, ‘ For fast relief.’
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
There you go. If any of the above stories, quips or prayers have meaning to you…you have entered the golden age.
If onone of the above etchings mean a thing to you…”you’re a damn liar”.
Have a nice day.