Cowboy Rules

I have been fortunate to have traveled to a lot of very interesting places around this globe and met a lot of very interesting people.  I have also met far too many people who seem to believe the world revolves around them.  Believe me when I say  “It doesn’t and never will”.

There is one group of people that can be found in nearly every country and/or every state who seem to have the most “down to earth” attitude about most everthing and the most inciteful and polite attitude toward people…overall.

This group also have some simple non-elitist “rules”.

They call them “COWBOY RULES”.  I’ll list some of them below.  If you don’t understand them, or can’t figure them out or just think they’re “dumb”…read them again very slowly or have a child explain them to you.

Here they are…

Cowboy rules for: Arizona, California, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Minnesota, Nebraska, the Dakotas and the rest of the Wild West are as follows: 

  1. Pull your pants up wannabes. You look like an idiot. 

    2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked…yet.

    3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your pretty little car-car. Drive it or get out of the way. 

    4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? I-90 & I-94 go east and west, I-35, and I-29 go north and south. Pick one and leave. 

    5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 

    6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 

    7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese, pheasants, ducks, or doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time. 

    8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop. 

    9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 

    10. We open doors for women. That applies to all women, regardless of age. 

    11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey. 

    12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!   Oh, yeah… We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI! 

    13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘ Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 

    14. College and High School Football, Baseball and Basketball are as important here as the Vikings, the Twins, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers, the Timberwolves and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. 

    15. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1! 

About little joe

Born on the Midwest Plains...and live the same way. Enjoyed a small town upbringing and a big city career. Value small town ethics and the big city opportunity. Write from the heart while wearing a smile. and enjoy all that's around me
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