America’s Job Problem Solved by Americans

I have been watching most of the republican debates on television. 

They make me cry…then laugh…then cry again.

It is quite obvious the wealthy candidates (they all are) on stage look upon most of the American citizenry as lesser people, BUT, they are running for election so they have to put up with the non-rich until they get their votes and their jobs of power…they don’t need the measley salaries (compared to their own methods of income) the offices they are running for pay.  A high percentage of house and senate members in congress are millionaires (look it up). So then why would you run for such a low paying position?  I venture to say NOT because they really want to fix America.  I mean America is working out just right for them.  The real answer is….(drum roll here)…Power.  so when you listen to the debates keep in mind a man once said…”politicians and babies need to be changed frequently, and, for the same reason”!

But we’re talking about JOBS and America’s need for more of them.

I would like to site ONE example of how the American Public can help create those jobs.  About every four to six weeks I get a special flier in my Sunday paper from Menard’s ( a big box home center store in the Twin Cities).  This particular flier lists items throughout their store that are “MADE IN AMERICA”!  When consumers buy ” Made In America” products it is like igniting an sparkplug in a gasoline engine.  The purchase of home-(America)-made products means another one of those items needs to be made in an American factory.  If enough of those products are purchased, there is a good chance that factory might have need for more workers. Viola…here-in lies part of our American job-crisis solution.

It doesn’t matter whether you are in an apartment or your own home, we all need home care products and building supplies.  When we buy such items, why not check to see if it is made in America?  If it isn’t, search for a similar product that is and buy that one.  There are millions of people in America making these purchases every day.  Think of what would happen in the job market if we all made sure we took the time to buy only products Made In America!  (Check out a special Made In America segment on ABC television news and see how purchasing American is making a difference.  No, I don’t work for ABC news.)

I wait for this particular flier to arrive at my doorstep every few weeks because, unless some weird emergency erupts in my household, most home center products I use can wait until I get the flier and see if I can find the type of product I need that is made in America.

I don’t work for Menards and I shop several different home center store in Minneapolis/St. Paul area. And…I have become a label reader.  I now always check to see if what I am buying is “Made In America”.

We’re a great country.  We were industry leaders for decades. We can be again…one “Made In America” nail at a time.

p.s.  I have discovered a new AreaVoices blog that makes me think…this is not easy.  If you get a chance, check out “Middle America’s Mouth”. I don’t agree with everything the author writes, but the topics and comments make me think.

Little Joe

 

 

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The Truths and Values of Exercise

 

I recently retired, which almost immediately proved to be boring.  Mainly because all of the projects I had planned to work on and complete upon my retirement, I found I could do “tomorrow”.

This “plan” doesn’t work and finally made me realize the true meaning of a plaque I saw in a small town North Dakota bar many years ago.  It read…………”FREE DRINKS….TOMORROW”

Yes, I’m slow, but I eventually get there.

My latest epiphany was to begin regular exercise, to get in shape, lose some pounds, increase my flexability and just basically “buff up”.  Like that’s going to work…I’m tired just writing this.

Sooooooo…….I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently, you have to go there!

Then a learned person suggested I should take up walking.  Not power walking, just a daily constitutional to keep the juices flowing and the joints from seizing up.  Maybe I could take a cup of coffee with me on the walk, now that science is saying coffee is okay for you again.  Maybe I’d bring my camera. I’ve always enjoyed photography and have mountains of nature scenes to my collection.  Wow….the ideas and the value of exercise and walking were begining to sway me in their direction.

Then……

I met a fella in a coffee shop and started up a conversation which I slowly turned toward the subject of walking.  He told me a story.  I’m going to pass it along to all of you….right here…..

He told me….”My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old…and we have no idea where the hell he is”.

I went home and burned my walking shoes and made a pact with myself that….the only time I will ever take a long walk is if I want to hear heavy breathing again.

 

Little Joe

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Try To Insert Logic In This !

A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE

Pythagorean Theorem:            24 words

The Lord’s Prayer:                  66 words

Archimedes’ Principle:              67 words

The 10 Commandments:                179 words

The Gettysburg Address:             286 words

The Declaration of Independence     1,300 words

U.S. Government regulations on
The sale of cabbage:                26,911 words            

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Senior Truths

 Since my last post I came across a few other thoughts that might be amusing to you…unless of course, you are actually experiencing  them.  If that’s the case I guess you will just have to grin a bear it.

Students in a journalism class I used to teach started calling me “pops” one quarter.  They did so with respect and self amusement.  No harm done.

One day as class was about to start I mentioned to all of them that I understand the “pops” refernce and also realized that they were not being critical.   And…because of those comments I wanted to tell them something I had done that none of them had…but I hoped they would one day.   They guessed a lot of things that were pretty interesting, but none of them were correct.

Funally one student commented, ” we give up, what have you done that none of us have done?”

I answered….”I’ve made it this far”.  That done, class began.

Just in case you are of a senior persuasion, or even if you are not,  here are some moments you may have experienced.

 

1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. 

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

This modern world takes some getting used to, but as soon as I figure out one thing, they go and change it again.

Little Joe

 

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Serenity

For those of you that haven’t enterd the realm of “Serenity” as yet, I have some words of wisdom for you to ponder.  Even if you have reached the age of Serenity, you may still have some questions or are simply wondering about what is happening around you. 

This is also for you.

These are tidbit stories reflective of the reality of our Golden Years.  I’m not quite at Golden, but I know I’ve left “BRASS” way behind.  None the less, I can certainly identify or report I have witnessed some of these stories unfold.

Read on…

 

 

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied.
‘Two years older than me’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

The nice thing about being senile is
You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I’ve sure gotten old!  I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes, I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts, have bouts with dementia,
have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92 and have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape.
So I got my doctor’s permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on,
The class was over.

 


My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, For fast relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. 
 

There you go.  If any of the above stories, quips or prayers have meaning to you…you have entered the golden age.

If onone of the above etchings mean a thing to you…”you’re a damn liar”.

Have a nice day.

 

Little Joe

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Here’s an “oldie but goodie”

As we prepare to punch a more comfortable notch in our belts and unleash our appetites in the annual food frenzy we call Thanksgiving, I want to make sure an important American history lesson does not go un-noticed.


This is the lesson of the turkey. Again I caution you I am talking about the bird, not a family member or other individual one might know.

Americans take great pride in our national symbol the American Eagle. What many Americans do not know is that our good friend and forefather Benjamin Franklin (known to many as lightening rod), didnt like the eagle. Benny even wrote his daughter a letter which stated, in part…”For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen to represent of our country. He (the eagle) is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree near the river, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the work of the Fish Hawk and when that diligent bird has taken a fish the eagle takes it from him.
In fact, Benjamin Franklin wanted to make the wild turkey (the bird), not the Bald Eagle, the national bird of the United States! Could you imagine that? Just picture one of our pioneer families at the general store laying in supplies for the winter when the store clerk says that will be 13-turkeys instead of 13 gold eagles.


Let’s pause to giggle amongst ourselves.

I’m sorry to say that after the first official Thanksgiving in 1621, it took over 200 years before Thanksgiving Day was officially proclaimed as a national day of thanksgiving in 1863.

Let’s regress a bit. It seems that Native Americans way back in 1492 recognized the funny looking folk from across the pond wearing buckles on their shoes needed a little help feeding themselves. So they gathered the visitors on a rock on the east coast and put on a meal that included turkey and all the fixings. It apparently went over real well! This is just a guess mind you, but I’m of a feeling that the pilgrims probably enjoyed their turkey dinner much better than if they would have had wild eagle. I don’t know this for a fact!

Now, fast forward a few hundred years.


Finally, well almost, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November as a national day of Thanksgiving. Don’t get too excited here. We’re talking politics and turkey(s) which means everybody wants to get their fingers in the pie. It seems Franklin Roosevelt changed Thanksgiving one year to a week earlier than usual in 1939 to make the Christmas shopping season longer (try to look surprised). Well Frank had to stay inside the White House for a while after that move because there was a tremendous outpouring of public disapproval so, in 1941 Thanksgiving was declared a legal holiday by Congress. Could somebody do the math here…first Thanksgiving was 1621…official and permanent Thanksgiving 1941!

The speed of government is mind boggling!


So let’s reflect.

Our forefathers land, there’s no shopping mall so Native Americans treat them to a turkey dinner. Ben Franklin votes against the Bald Eagle as our national bird in favor of the turkey…he loses the vote and is told to go fly a kite. Abe Lincoln declares the last Thursday in November as Thanksgiving but Franklin Roosevelt, apparently not wanting to offend the retail lobby, moves Thanksgiving a week earlier to allow for more shopping time. Finally Congress comes back from one of its’ unecessary long recesses and makes the last Thursday of November a national holiday.


Whew!

Would somebody please pass the mashed potatoes?


Happy Thanksgiving!

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The Day After Thanksgiving

Okay, you’ve loosened your belt after thanksgiving dinner, you’ve enough football on television to start your own team and most of the in-laws have left town!

Now What?

I offered this suggestion a couple of years ago and several people have asked me to repeat the message.

Here you go…. 

Every morning in coffee shops across Minnesota, world problems are being solved. Taxes, medical insurance, education, the recession and transportation problems are only a “second cup” and a “shot of cream” away from being handled by local ‘coffee-klatches’. And sometimes an idea that started out as a tongue-in-cheek remark can turn into a big deal.

For example:


More than two decades ago some Aitkin, Minnesota coffee-sipper regulars were engaged in deep discussions at a local main street coffee shop. One of the participants interrupted the discussions by pointing out the store winddow at the number of pick-up trucks passing by the window all carrying ice fishing houses in the back.  One of the guys commented “If we could just get the police and fire department out in front of that line-up at the stoplight, we’d have us a fish house parade!”

Hmmmmm!

Pretty soon the idea was the “buzz” in Aitkin. Some folks liked the idea right from the start, others wondered out loud…”who would actually come to Aitkin, Minnesota to see a bunch of ice fishing houses pulled down main street”?…( you probably can’t see my hand is raised in the air ).
There was really only one way to find out…have a parade! Well, 1991 was the first official Aitkin Fish House Parade!  Besides being a true novelty, it is a celebration of Minnesota’s frigid season.

Things do get a little crazy however!

The Fish house parade has been honored by the entry of one fish house titled “A Flush Beats A Full House”. As you might have guessed, the entry was offered by an area plumber and is in the shape of a typical “Outdoor Facility”.  And then there’s  the “Grumpy Old Women” fish house that had several ladies staying warm against the November chill by emersing themselves…bathing suits and all ( I think they had on bathing suits )…in a hot tub on wheels!

And so it began. The fish house parade is held the Friday after Thanksgiving and has had up to 60 entries in a single parade! Viewers are encouraged to bring lawn chairs, and possibly a snowmobile suit and grab a spot along the curb on main-street. The community also invites Santa and Mrs. Claus for the youngsters, provides wonderful food, great shopping throughout Aitkin, prize drawings, lively music, and even a fish house story contests. Many of these stories get better the more they’re told…kind of like the stories told by anglers.


Aitkin’s annual Fish House Parade has created media attention world-wide. Wacky floats, dressed-up ice fishing houses and celebrity guests all make this world-famous event a must-see annual event. The past parades have gained attention from USA Today, HGTV, Voice of America, and Aqua magazine, as well as many Minnesota publications and newspapers.

Some of the Grand Marshals of past Aitkin fish house parades have included former Minnesota Vikings, Joe Sensor and Joey Browner, Minnesota television personalities, and Governor Tim Pawlenty…to name a few!

And, although this parade started out as a local fun time event it has grown into much more. Today thousands of visitors come from across the Midwest and places beyond to take in the wacky Fish House Parade in Aitkin, Minnesota. I guess if we were to use a bit of philosophy, we could utter the oft-quoted line…”from the smallest acorn a mighty oak will grow”, or something like that. That’s kind of what has happened in Aitkin with their, now annual, fish house parade.

So, when you’re pondering how to shake off the cabin fever blues in November think about the Fish House Parade in Aitkin. You’ll have yourself a good time family outing. It’s more than a parade; it’s a festival…have you ever tried frozen turkey bowling?

And, if you get there ahead of me, would you mind saving me a spot at the curb on main-street.

 

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Fall Colors on the Breezy Belle

Breezy Belle

          Fall in Minnesota is unquestionably my favorite time of the year.  Each October I take my camera ( my wife, daughter and son dragged me in to the digital age by giving me a new Cannon digital camera for Fathers Day a couple of years ago) and search out postcard type photos of fall colors around the state.  One of my favorite areas for fall colors is in the Brainerd area of central Minnesota…although I have probably visited every nook and cranny in the entire state during my years with the state office of tourism.

Well I’m headed back to central Minnesota again to try out a NEW view of the area around Breezy Point.  I have walked the wooded areas and picture perfect golf courses in the area on several occasions and photographed some spectacular scenes.  But, my new adventure will give me a whole new perspective.  I will photograph and enjoy the fall color scenes from the deck of the Breezy Belle…which runs out of Breezy Point Resort.

The Breezy Belle is a unique Paddle-Wheel Excursion Boat and a great choice for any group, or a way for you and some friends to go on a dinner cruise or lunch cruise and unwind while enjoying Minnesota’s fall colors.

The Breezy Belle can accommodate up to 100 people with an enclosed main deck, open upper deck, banquet tables and chairs, head (restroom), handicapped accessible (main deck).

The Breezy Belle was built and designed in Brainerd, Minnesota on the shores of Rice Lake by Captain Nick Buffetta and his Grandfather and is now operated by Breezy Point Resort and Captain Nick Buffetta.

Breezy Point manager David Spizzo says they do a lot of different types of cruises on the boat. Public cruises, family reunions, corporate cruises, grooms dinners and weddings. David reminded me that the schedule through the end of September is Sunday and Wednesday evenings. From 6-8pm so you don’t have a lot of time to take advantage of this opportunity.   David added that the optimum time for fall colors this year will be very soon.  You can contact Breezy Point at  218-562-7180.

By the way, on your drive to or from Breezy Point and a water excursion on the Breezy Belle, take time to check out the fall colors at Crow Wing State Park in the Brainerd area.  Fall colors at this great state park include goldenrods, asters, blazing stars, and wild onion. The birch and hazel tree have some noticeable yellow leaves. Hiking along the historic Red River trail and through the old town site of Crow Wing is a great way to see the changing of the seasons. You may even happen across deer and wild turkey as you meander the pathways.

Okay, that’s it…enough talk.  I’m headed for the Brainerd lakes area for a cruise on the Breezy Belle and a fully charged camera I hope to fill with fabulous fall colors in Minnesota.

 

little joe

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Minnesota History ???

After eons of research by social and scientific universities across Minnesota as well as input from scholars and historians with Minnesota’s statehood history, I have finally compiled historical data on the origin of Minnesota and many of its’ residents.Really, I got an email and…”believe it or not”…here it is…

 

The Story of Minnesota
Minnesota became the 32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost tribe of Norwegians seeking refuge from the searing heat of Wisconsin ‘s winters.

Minnesota gets its name from the Sioux Indian word “mah-nee-soo-tah”, meaning, “No, really…  They eat fish soaked in lye”.

The state song of Minnesota is “Someday the Vikings will…  Aw, never mind”.

The Mall of America in Bloomington , Minnesota covers 9.5 million square feet and has enough space to hold 185,000 teenagers yapping away on cell phones.

Madison , Minnesota is known as “the lutefisk capital of the world”. Think carefully before visiting this city at all costs.

“The Mary Tyler Moore Show”  was set in Minneapolis , Minnesota , and was Mary’s first real acting job since leaving the “Dick van Dyke Show.  The show about a single woman’s struggle to find happiness in the big city was originally titled “Life Without Dick”, but that was changed for some reason.

Downtown Minneapolis has an enclosed skyway system covering more than 52 blocks, allowing people to live, work, eat, and sleep without ever going outside.  The only downside to this is that a Norwegian occasionally turns up missing.

Cartoonist Charles M.  Shultz was born in Minneapolis , Minnesota and grew up in St.  Paul .  He was the only artist to accurately depict the perfectly circular heads of Minnesota natives.

The Hormel Company of Austin , Minnesota produces 6 million cans of Spam a year.  Spam is a prized food in Japan & Hawaii–Spam sushi!!

Minnesota license plates are blue & white and contain the phrase “Blizzards on the 4th of July – you get used to it.”

Frank C.  Mars, founder of the Mars Candy Co.  Was born in Newport , Minnesota . His 3 Musketeers candy bar originally contained three bars in one wrapper, each filled with a different flavor of nougat – chocolate, Spam and lutefisk.

Tonka trucks continue to be manufactured in Minnetonka , Minnesota , despite the thousands of GI Joe dolls killed by them annually in rollover accidents.  No airbags, no seat belts!

Author Laura Ingalls Wilder was raised at Walnut Grove , Minnesota , and was famous for writing the “Little House” series of books, as well as inventing the “Spam diet” which consists of looking at a plate of Spam until you lose your appetite.  Much like the “lutefisk diet”.

The snowmobile was invented in Roseau , Minnesota so as to allow families a means of attending 4th of July picnics.

Minnesotans are almost indistinguishable from Wisconsinites.  The only way to tell them apart is to ask if they voted for Mondale in ’84.

Cold is a relative thing 

65° Arizonans turn on the heat.  People in Minnesota plant gardens.

60°  Californians shiver uncontrollably.  People in Minnesota sunbathe. 

 50  Italian & English cars won’t start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down..

40°  Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

 35°  New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

 20°  People in Miami all die.  Minnesotans close their windows.

0°  Californians fly away to Mexico.  People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

10° below zero:  Hollywood disintegrates.  The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

 20° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.).  People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.

30° below zero:  Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can’t start the snowmobile.

40° below zero:  ALL atomic motion stops.  People in Minnesota start saying…”Cold enough for ya?”

50° below zero:  Hell freezes over…

The Vikings win a Superbowl and Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.     

Yes…I’m joking…maybe!

Little Joe

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Class of 61

For those who will be attending the reunion of the

Class Of ’61 this summer I hope you have a great time.  I am sure you will be able to share countless memories with classmates and amaze your spouse or significant other with the stories they will overhear and ask you to explain in detail at a later time.  Don’t worry, they’ll understand.

I also hope you and all the classmates that can gather in Lisbon will also take time to share at least one neat story about your years at LHS…things like ” I firmly believe my sophomore year was the best four years of my education”.   Just kidding !!!!

For my recollection I want to share the fact that the closest I came to a 4.0 was in my senior year at LHS…and it was my blood alcohol content at a sock-hop emceed by Dennis Bratland and myself at the roller-rink in Lisbon’s Park.  Again, I’m kidding!  I’m sure I didn’t event blow a 3.5 on Chief Anderson’s mischief meter.

Really, I would recall and relate my high school years in terms of friends I made and, happily, still have…both in the class of ’61 and the classes that surrounded our class.  Things like bonfires on homecoming night and the “snake-dance” down mainstreet, or about making plans to steal the “Goat” just in case we didn’t beat Enderlin, or maybe about emceeing “Teen Canteen” in the ,then, new National Guard Armory.  Senior “skip days” were also a favorite of mine.  I don’t remember if they were sanctioned by the school or not, but I exercised my perogative and selected a few days to write myself an excuse from classes. 

I would also like to hear from each of you about how and where you are and who you added to your family since 1961.  Maybe a classmate will be able to generate an email list of classmates that can be shared with everyone?  That would be awsome

I am quite sure the high school stories will run fast and furious and the tears of laughter will splash the banquet floor. 

Damn….I’m getting homesick.

I wrote a mainstreet memory about Lisbon some time ago and published it on this blog to keep the memory of that “main-drag” alive.  It was a busy and crowded street ripe with as many memories as there were teenagers idling their dads car up and down Main on a Saturday night or Sunday afternoon.  Some classmates have offered to share photos of “Mainstreet” in Lisbon from our high school years and…should I get the urge…I may include some of them in an updated version.

It’s been a while since I have been able to meet a gaggle of classmates at one time and I’m afraid it will be a while longer.  The last time I remember congregating in the Sheyenne “River Valley” was at one of Lisbon’s major birthday celebrations….I had hair, I weighed less, my feet weren’t flat, my eyes didn’t need help and my back didn’t ache.  For those of you who do not admit to any of these malady’s….”you know what I think you’re FULL OF” !

That said, I am the lesser for not being able to join you all for our 50th reunion.  If you’re able…”tip one for me”.  I will certainly take a moment during that weekend to do the same in a salute to all of you. 

Litle Joe

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